He was always mad at me. I never knew why, but this one guy was always on my case. It didn’t matter if I did right or wrong, he always thought I did wrong…and let me know it. If he could find a hurtful comment, he would say it. If he could threaten me, he would do it. If he could discourage me and bring me down, he did it. I did not like seeing this guy because I knew he was always going to be trouble. I just didn’t know why he was mad at me.
Have you ever had someone like that in your life? Maybe it’s a person at work or at school or worse, at home. They can make life miserable. If you have that kind of person in your life, I hope this post helps you a little.
I was talking to a friend about this man who was mad at me all the time and my friend said something that really stuck with me. “Brent,” he said, “ask the guy next time you are around him if someone has really hurt him in life.” At first, I thought this was one of those “see how I feel” moments. My friend corrected me and said, “I bet he has been hurt in life and is taking it out on you.” That was surprising to hear, but I thought I would give it a try.
The next time I saw the man, I asked him if he had ever been hurt by someone in life. Oh my! For the next 10 minutes, all I heard was how he had been mistreated and abused by the airline that used to employ him. He said they had taken advantage of him and he would never forgive them. He unleashed a barrage of hate toward that airline in my direction.
Ding! I found the answer. This man wasn’t really mad at me all the time. He was just viewing me as an airline CEO. He took out on me what he wanted the airline to know even though I am not a part of that airline (and rarely fly on it for that matter).
I learned a great lesson that day. The fact is hurt people hurt people. Often they are spreading their hurt to people around them who have nothing to do with the problem. Their hurt is, in their minds, to be shared with others, even if others aren’t interested in it.
We can’t always fix the problems of people who hate on us, but we can do something. While it is true hurt people hurt people, it is also true healed people heal people. The good in your life can be shared just as easily as the negative and your story of healing might be a balm in someone else’s hurting soul.
If you are being attacked, try to discern the hurt in the person’s life. You may never find the answer, but I can guarantee you it’s there. And in the meantime, share a little healing with someone. Your healing may be what they need to overcome the hurt others are bringing in their life.
Hurt people hurt people, but you can choose to bring healing.